Relationships: Not Always Flowers and Chocolates

Gloria Mendez

Feb 6, 2020

With bouquets of flowers and heart shaped boxes of chocolates everywhere you turn, it’s hard not to pause and reflect on relationships this time of year. It may be a relationship of the past, present, or one we desire for our future, but human nature tends to lead us on a path to partner with someone. For some, this time of reflection can bring about some very negative feelings. Others radiate in gratitude for a love and partnership they have found with another person. 


Regardless of the circumstances, the question still lingers; “What does it take to have a healthy relationship?” Having a healthy relationship is a two-part process; the relationship with yourself and the relationship with your partner. All too many times, people in relationships focus on the dynamics between each other and neglect themselves. Given this circumstance, people tend to find comfort or what they feel is the “missing piece” in a partner instead of becoming a whole individual first. In developing a strong relationship with yourself first, really discovering who you are, what you want out of life, and healing from any past pain, you can then be a healthy partner in a relationship. Counseling can provide support throughout these stages of this process.  

Let’s fast forward a bit. You’ve dated someone for a while and have decided to begin a relationship. You hit some obstacles. What went wrong? Let’s look at some strategies for a healthy relationship. 

  • Communication – Talk openly, honestly, and frequently about your expectations, desires, limits, and feelings. It is your responsibility to make yourself heard and understood. Your partner cannot read your mind.
  • Respect – Honor your partner’s thoughts and feelings as they are being vulnerable and trusting you with their story.
  • Affection – Agree on signs of affection and display them accordingly to give you and your partner security in the relationship. 

These are 3 major key areas where relationships take a negative turn. In counseling, couples can navigate through different strategies that may help them learn how to communicate more effectively, thus writing the next chapter in their story.  

The story doesn’t always have to be over. Sometimes you just have to turn the page.

Gloria believes that life is a book and you are the author. Counseling is a place of support and guidance where you can learn the skills to write the next chapter in your story.

Written by:

Gloria Mendez

Licensed Professional Counselor

Feb 6, 2020


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